Top 10 Funniest Things in Con Air

Way back in February 2016, I included five funny things about Con Air in one of my Films I Watched In posts (read it here). Recently re-watching the film and giggling through pretty much all of it, I realised a Top 10 was absolutely vital and necessary.

Top 10 Funniest Things in Con Air (1997)

No.1 – this picture


No. 2

The way it’s implied that Steve Buscemi’s freedom at the end is a good thing – despite him killing loads of people and wearing a “girl’s head as a hat”. Oh, but he didn’t do anything bad to the kid in the trailer park and he does makes funny comments on the plane, so he must be alright!



The way John Cusack looks at Nicolas Cage when he jumps on the police motorbike in Vegas. Poe is soooo outlandish, it makes me laugh. Here’s a conversation I like to imagine is happening telepathically:

Poe: “I’m taking this bike.”

Larkin: “Poe….you just got out of jail. You can’t just jump on a police bike like you own the place. I’m a US Marshall for god’s sake and I appreciate your help whilst the plane was in the air but we have plenty of back-up. Seriously, what are you doing? Go and see your family, they’ve been waiting eight years to see you and do you know how many times you almost died today? You’ve never even met your daughter! And you have no authority at all to be on that bike.”

Poe: “I’m taking this bike.”

Larkin: “Yeah….it’s the right thing to do.”


The Dynamic Duo

No. 4

The way Cyrus the Virus ‘hides’ on a ladder and looks directly at Poe when he’s doing his SECRET ESCAPE from the Vegas strip, on top of a fire engine.

No. 5 – that’s a rock

No. 6

When John Cusack persuades Colm Meaney NOT to blow up the hijacked and highly unstable convict plane (in the middle of the desert where it’s relatively safe) because….because… “because there’s a good man up there goddammit!”

Only for a hideous crash landing to then take place in the center of the Las Vegas strip where unbelievable carnage and explosions (so many explosions) ensue. Though the subject is understandably ignored and not even hinted at, soooo many people would have died. Outstanding decision.

No. 7 put the Bunny back in the box

No. 8

The fact that John Cusack’s character (a US Marshall) spends the ENTIRE movie wearing socks and sandals. Very un-hip, beige plastic sandals. Annoyingly but perhaps unsurprisingly I can’t find a picture of this. But he does. I promise you.

No. 9

Colm Meaney just in general. I swear I’ve seen him play this type of character in a few films now. When he’s angry, unwilling to listen, smug and has contempt for pretty much everyone. It’s great.


No. 10 – this quote said by Colm Meaney’s character about John Cusack’s character

“He’s off saving the rain forest, or recycling his sandals or some shit.”


About emmakwall

Films, books, soundtracks, good humour
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22 Responses to Top 10 Funniest Things in Con Air

  1. Pingback: Films I Watched In: October & November | emmakwall (explains it all)

  2. Jordan Dodd says:

    Classic!! Had a good laugh here Em. I absolutely love this movie in all its absurdity. Malkovich is soooo good. Surprised Dave Chappelle’s early role didn’t get a mention, he was hilarious.


    Hahahaha, classic line.

    You know what is even better? Downloading this with Spanish or Portuguese dubbed audio. It somehow makes the entire thing even funnier

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmakwall says:

      OH MY GOD I need to watch this in Spanish or Portuguese dubbed, you’re an absolute genius Jordy and I mean that sincerely!!!!

      Good call on Dave Chappelle (Pinball?) I may need to edit this post! Lovely that you’re another super fan!!!! How are you? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jordan Dodd says:

        Is is properly hilarious when you know alllll the lines but they are all in rapid-fire Spanish. The bunny scene in particular. Its been a while but I’ll give this another spin I reckon, I love Malkovich in it, you can just tell he is having an absolute blast with the character. And Chappelle is hilarious! From memory he either sets someone on fire or himself isd set on fire hahaha. Its been a while!!

        I’m doin great Em! For once I’m trying to embrace this summer instead of just being a depressed hermit. Gets pretty bloody hot though! How have you been?

        Liked by 1 person

        • emmakwall says:

          I’m ok! I’m being a depressed winter hermit ha ha. How was your weekend Jordy? x

          Liked by 1 person

          • Jordan Dodd says:

            Sorry for the late reply. I had some seizure activity that honestly felt like ECT. Didn’t know what day it was, even what month it was. Had over ten people to apologise to for missing catch ups and appointments. Feeling better now, just wrote my first review in a while.

            Book is 99% finished. I am going to repost them all as I have re-done it so each chapter is equivalent to one day I spent there. And I have only completed the first draft – now it is back to the beginning to begin my first proper edit


  3. Epic. Love Cage. Love Con Air. They just don’t make ’em like this anymore.


  4. Zoë says:

    Hahaha this is great Em!


  5. Lloyd Marken says:

    Great post Emma and so true on all accounts.


  6. Jay says:

    This is the list I didn’t know I needed.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Mr. Bobinsky says:

    Damn, this awesome. I love this film! Nice post, Emma.

    Check this photo…but it’s not very clear

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Caz says:

    Brillaint post!


  9. beetleypete says:

    Your undying love for the film shines through every word, Em. Nice work!
    As ever, Pete. XXX


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