Top 5 Ways to Ruin an English Breakfast
(I’m English and I love breakfast, I know what I’m talking about)
1. Anemic Bacon
Meaning barely cooked, horrible pink stuff with stringy white fat. I HATE this type of ‘cooked’ bacon and it puts me off ever eating it in public. Note to everyone – bacon should be crucified, burnt and crispy.
2. Cheap and/or Greasy Sausages
Almost as bad as the badly and barely cooked bacon but SLIGHTLY more forgivable with cheap sausages being slightly more edible than stringy bits of pink gammony mess. Though I hate both the aforementioned, I’d still rather have cheap bangers full of bread than those that leave a pool of grease on the plate (generally grease marks are only allowed when eating at KFC).
3. Runny Baked Beans
What a flash back to my old school dinners. Runny beans. GROSS!!! Baked beans swimming in a red pool of juice. YUCK!!! I like my beans stodgy thanks. In fact I usually drain the can before I even THINK about cooking them.
4. No ‘Bubble & Squeak’ Option
In case you don’t know, bubble & squeak (no idea on the origin of the name) is a classic Brit dish, associated with the leftovers of the Great British Roast. The main ingredient is potato – which is then combined usually with cabbage but also could be Brussels sprouts or peas & carrots. The glorious mess is mashed up, then fried into little savoury cakes of heaven. And it’s bloody lovely. Shame a lot of breakfast menus tend to prefer the less superior hash browns. Hmmmmm.
5. Scrambled Egg
I don’t exactly hate scrambled egg, but I far, far prefer fried or boiled. Scrambled just always seems a little wet (both literally and figuratively). So no egg choice on the menu (or, more likely – the ‘buffet cart’) can upset me a lot.