Top 5 Ways to Ruin an English Breakfast
(I’m English and I love breakfast, I know what I’m talking about)
1. Anemic Bacon
Meaning barely cooked, horrible pink stuff with stringy white fat. I HATE this type of ‘cooked’ bacon and it puts me off ever eating it in public. Note to everyone – bacon should be crucified, burnt and crispy.
2. Cheap and/or Greasy Sausages
Almost as bad as the badly and barely cooked bacon but SLIGHTLY more forgivable with cheap sausages being slightly more edible than stringy bits of pink gammony mess. Though I hate both the aforementioned, I’d still rather have cheap bangers full of bread than those that leave a pool of grease on the plate (generally grease marks are only allowed when eating at KFC).
3. Runny Baked Beans
What a flash back to my old school dinners. Runny beans. GROSS!!! Baked beans swimming in a red pool of juice. YUCK!!! I like my beans stodgy thanks. In fact I usually drain the can before I even THINK about cooking them.
4. No ‘Bubble & Squeak’ Option
In case you don’t know, bubble & squeak (no idea on the origin of the name) is a classic Brit dish, associated with the leftovers of the Great British Roast. The main ingredient is potato – which is then combined usually with cabbage but also could be Brussels sprouts or peas & carrots. The glorious mess is mashed up, then fried into little savoury cakes of heaven. And it’s bloody lovely. Shame a lot of breakfast menus tend to prefer the less superior hash browns. Hmmmmm.
5. Scrambled Egg
I don’t exactly hate scrambled egg, but I far, far prefer fried or boiled. Scrambled just always seems a little wet (both literally and figuratively). So no egg choice on the menu (or, more likely – the ‘buffet cart’) can upset me a lot.
emmakwall (explains it all) 
Great post! I am so with you on the beans!
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Thank you!!! I’m glad you’re a fellow STODGY bean lover!! 🙂 thank you so much for looking around my blog – it is much appreciated!! 🙂
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Stodgy beans ARE much better! You blog is amazing!😃😊
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Ha ha, thank you 🙂
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Welcome!
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You need to add black pudding, white pudding, fried bread, grilled tomato and a mountain of mushrooms (but please no beans soggy or stodgy, they’re reserved for student lunches, eat and evening meals).
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I love black pudding!!!! 👍
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I totally agree with you 100% with the first 3. I never heard of bubble & squeak. And I only like scrambled eggs when I make them because I cook them really well. But I do prefer to eat them with something else on the same fork (like my crispy bacon). I can’t get any of those things in a restaurant. I’ll stick with pancakes, french toast, or waffles in a restaurant.
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I’d like to try your scrambled eggs!! AND crispy bacon! I agree you’re better off sticking with pancakes and French toast (or waffles!!) 🙂
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Haha, what an extremely fun post.
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Totally agree with you Emma on the bacon! Fatty, barely-cooked bacon makes me want to vomit.
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I know it sounds like a strange response, but GREAT!!! 🙂 ha ha.
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I pretty much only eat scrambled eggs, though I might have an omelet now and then.
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Ooh, I do love an omelette!!!!
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An English breakfast seems to sound ideal as a brunch perhaps. That mid afternoon meal when you want your filling of a morning kick start but you’re not quite ready for a ‘real’ dinner sort of meal always sounds satisfying. I have to put my head slightly down to say, as a british I can’t say I take fancy to it though I’ll kindly take a vegetarian sausage. I’m glad there’s no mention of black pudding. Regardless, I understand the popularity of such a deserving breakfast on the occasions. Hope you have many a deserving breakfast – the proper quitessential Engljsh way!
Sincerely Sonea
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Ahem, what about the grits? Let Joe Pesci, aka My Cousin Vinny, explain…
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Love a good English breakfast! But only a good one. I agree – the beans need to be just right!
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Woo, thanks Anna!!! And we love our stodgy beans!!!!! 😘
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