Top 10 Worst Things About having a Cold


Top 10 Worst Things About having a Cold

1. I feel like crap but everyone expects me to get on with normal day-to-day life because it’s ‘only a cold’. No matter that I can’t breathe properly, ache everywhere and keep having a sensual, sexy battle between The Sweats and The Shivers.

2. So I battle my way into work, armed with lemsips and so much tissue I think some is trailing out my shoe, because – after all – it’s ‘only a cold’, only to be given evil looks by my colleagues, who instead of feeling motivated and inspired by my work ethic actually wish I’d stayed at home and start muttering about ‘picking up germs from the idiot who came in ill…’.

3. The way the skin around my nostrils gets dry and flaky from too much blowing. It makes me look like I have white bogeys hanging constantly from my nose. Or just bits of skin – but either way it’s not cool.

4. Smug, healthy people. They just wind me up. All smug and healthy.


5. The way my ears get so blocked up. It’s the most horrible, disconcerting feeling. Okay perhaps I do make it worse by sticking cotton buds down there, a pencil, some olive oil or my finger – whatever is close to hand basically, but they still won’t fucking pop.

6. The obligatory “I’ve just had a cold” cough that hangs around for the next five weeks.

7. Speaking of which, smoking isn’t enjoyable. I know, I know, I shouldn’t smoke at all. But it’s nice to have one after dinner. Or with a glass of wine (also not advisable when ill).


8. The cost of medicine. I’m not a complete idiot, I know buying supermarket brand stuff is cheaper than ‘posh’ brands that contain literally the exact same ingredients. But a typical shopping basket when I’m ill doesn’t come cheap. Lemsips of course, paracetamol (maybe two packs just in case). Tissues, no scrap that – tissues with aloe vera soothing balm to try and avoid the nose skin. Pure orange juice with bits in (for the vitamin C), comfort food, trashy magazines (medicinal) and cold & flu tablets which are basically the same as paracetamol but also contain caffeine.

9. NOTHING IS ENJOYABLE! That’s actually the thing I hate the most. I love laying around being lazy watching The Chase and I love being in the bath reading a good book –  but when I’m ill neither of these things are enjoyable anymore. Nothing is. So get the violins out.

10. And lastly, the fact that when I blow my nose it sounds like a badly played trumpet and I’m not even kidding. How do people do it quietly? Is it normal for everyone in the vicinity to laugh after you’ve blown your nose?

About emmakwall

Films, books, soundtracks, good humour
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84 Responses to Top 10 Worst Things About having a Cold

  1. Natasha says:

    This post is the best!

  2. Natasha says:

    I hope you feel better quick Emma! This is the trickiest time of the year with colds 😦

  3. Zoë says:

    3. 7. 9.

    These things! So much truth! This post is great – hilarious, and oh, so true, sadly.

    Hope you are feeling better lady 🙂

  4. Laura says:

    Poor Emma! I hope you’re better now? I had a cold the week before last and it’s so annoying that you have to carry on. You can’t do right for doing wrong. I mean, you can’t be off at the slightest little sniffle, but everybody hates you when you drag your snotty carcass into the office. Urgh! I blew my nose the other day and someone across the office shouted out “Blimey Laura, did a bit of brain just come out?!” Talk about embarrassing!

    • emmakwall says:

      Thanks Laura! 🙂 I do feel much better now cheers, just a pesky cough! How are you feeling?

      I know, exactly! It the end it actually feels kind of embarrassing sitting there spluttering with an assortment of meds across the desk!

      Haha, oh no!!!! I’m sorry but that did make me giggle “did a bit of brain come out?!” – I’d love for that person to be Australian, for some reason I read it in an Australian accent!!

  5. table9mutant says:

    Haha! Great post, Emma. Sorry you have a cold. I HATE colds! And I hate how work people act like you’re gonna give them the plague for coming into work. Like, hello, you can’t miss too much work anyway! I’d get in trouble at my job for missing too much work just because I have a cold. So there’s not much choice but to go in anyway!

  6. Jay says:

    I’m sorry, hun.I hope you’ll be back on the mend soon. Hugs and sympathy til then.xo

  7. Aw, I hope you feel better soon! I hate colds. When I start to get a cold, I always think that it’s allergies or something. And then I get slammed with the full blown cold. I have to think at my job, and I can’t concentrate when I’m sick. The only thing I feel like doing is lay down on the couch and watch television.
    I’ll try to send you positive energy so you can feel better, and kick that cold’s ass! 🙂

    • emmakwall says:

      Aww, thanks Paul!!! 🙂 I can feel the positive energy already I really can and I’m kicking its ass!!!!! 😀

      I’m exactly the same, I always think ‘is it hayfever…..?’ even in winter lol and then it gets worse and I think, nope, it’s a bloody cold!

      What is your job? I love laying on the couch watching television hee hee.

      • I’m glad you’re kicking its ass! Maybe you’ll be all better for the weekend.
        I’m a computer programmer for a medical software company. I am so sick of my job, but I’ve been here almost 20 years, so I’m stuck because the pay is decent and I have great benefits. I’d rather be a full-time writer.

        • emmakwall says:

          I know exactly what you mean, I’m an auditor and my job is rarely fulfilling but I stay because it pays the bills.

          Being a software programmer actually sounds pretty cool to me, to be honest! Would you ever try to do more with your writing though?

          Thanks, I do feel much better now! 😀

          • I’m glad you’re feeling better now!
            I’m hoping to build on my writing. As I travel more, I will work on my writing, and maybe get something published someday.

            • emmakwall says:

              Thanks Paul 🙂 hope you’re having a great weekend!

              That’s a good idea, travelling must surely make the greatest writers! 🙂

            • Did you have a nice weekend? Saturday night, I saw my favorite band, Rubix Kube, which is an awesome ’80s tribute band. Then last night we recorded our Return to the ’80s podcast, and it actually came out good! I just need to edit it a little, and I’ll be publishing it.

            • emmakwall says:

              Rubix Kube, what a cool name! Did you see that video of a kid juggling some Rubix Cubes whilst completing them?! Not sure if it was real or not but I’d like to think so 🙂

              And ‘awesome 80s tribute’ band – er sounds incredible!! What songs did they do? Give me some examples? 🙂

              And I’d love to listen to that podcast!! 😀 I had a nice weekend, thanks for asking Paul 🙂

            • I never saw that juggling kid. I do remember somebody doing it under water.
              For the concert, I always stand right in front of the stage. Before the show, I saw the playlist in front of where the bass player was going to stand. So I took a picture of it, and I can give you the whole playlist. And keep in mind, they dress and sound like the artists. There is a guy and a girl lead singer. Sometimes, one will do a song or 2 while the other is changing. And when they leave the stage, they go through the Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure phone booth. Here are the songs they did:

              Working For the Weekend
              Walking On Sunshine
              I Think We’re Alone Now
              Whip It
              Rebel Yell
              Walk This Way
              (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life
              Robert Palmer medley (Addicted to Love and Simply Irresistable)
              Sister Christian
              Your Love
              Borderline/Lucky Star
              Smooth Criminal
              If I Could Turn Back Time
              Sweet Child O’ Mine
              Straight Up
              Conga/Rhythm is Gonna Getcha
              99 Red Balloons (And they release 99 red balloons in the audience, and we bat them around the whole song)
              Here I Go Again
              You Shook Me
              Awesome drum solo
              Video Killed the Radio Star
              Don’t Stop Believin’

              And after the show, I was talking with a rep for the band, and the guy lead singer. I had sent them an email asking if they would do a theme song for my podcast. So I was going to ask about it in person, since I hadn’t heard back. They do know me, and know about my site. But, all I said was that we were starting up a podcast, and the guy right away said that he would love to be a guest on it! He loves to talk! I didn’t even get to ask about the song! They have my cell phone number, and will be getting back to me.

  8. That was funny. I have a cold too right now so this post cheered me up 🙂

  9. That was a funny post. lol. True for everyone though I suppose. As for #7, maybe just quit. Could be perfect timing. Anywho’s, feel better soon!

    • emmakwall says:

      Thanks Geoff! 🙂 I’m always so pleased to hear positive feedback.

      Thanks very much and I know….I should give up!! I should give up….but I’m not a quitter! Lol. Only kidding. I should give up 🙂

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