Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) – Film Review

Okay I apologise. This isn’t so much as a review as a rant. Damn I’m like Christian Bale on the set of Salvation or some shit.

But to be honest I felt I was driven to writing this – after reading so many bad reviews of the movie. Honestly I was DEPRESSED after reading those reviews and I felt – somewhat irrationally perhaps – upset for the director.

“I would rather go through psychological torture than watch this again” – one memorable IMDB user’s thoughts.

“I literally wanted to turn it off after 15 minutes it was that bad” – SO WHY DIDN’T YOU?

I got a bit angry reading these callous remarks and it got me thinking…..really? Reeeeeeally? Was it really that bad?

No, not really. It’s just a standard, fairly enjoyable action movie.

Now firstly, I don’t  like film snobbery much anyway so I am prone to a bit of bristling. It just……get on my nerves. Movies bring out the worst in us it would seem and I swear, especially with a film like this, you get people who only watch it so they can make some furious rant online.

Well – what exactly were your expectations?

(thirty-five years after the original movie).

Because I doubt any remake / reboot / prequel / hugely unnecessary sequel (all dangerous territory to film fans – delete where applicable) ever had any grand illusion that it was set to be some great new classic. I get it, hardcore Terminator fans are upset. But what were you expecting? Really? It’s 2019 and half of Arnold Schwarzenegger is being played by another actor.

All I know is I enjoyed watching this film just fine. It had some good action scenes and even half likable characters. Yeah it was silly and yeah there’s plot holes and yes it’s easy to scoff – but I felt quite an endearing effort was made and maybe people should just lighten up a bit.

The story is basically the same as The Terminator but feminist. That annoys people. Both points – being the same as Terminator AND being feminist. I’m not bothered either way by the way, I just want to see fights on planes and explosions and shit. But being feminist basically means most the lead characters are female and not John Connor. I actually liked most of these feminist characters all on their period – especially super soldier Grace played by Mackenzie Davis. She was a cool cucumber and occasionally funny. Linda Hamilton was good too – a bit cliché of course but amusingly grumpy and tough.

The geezers in the movie were alright too – the new baddie, pretty relentless. And Arnold Schwarzenegger of course, making ‘in’ jokes to his heyday which I’m not ashamed to say I enjoyed. I did laugh at some of the ridiculous parts in the plot to do with him texting Linda Hamilton and living in the woods with his new family and ‘son’ who taught him the meaning of love – I have no fucking clue if they knew he was a robot, but meh, it was all fine. Look, I’m not saying this is some great film – it’s not. But it’s okay!

Sadly Terminator: Dark Fate was damned either way anyway. They do something new to the franchise and it’s crap. They do the same thing as before and it’s crap. They make the best attempt at a Terminator sequel since Judgement Day – and it’s crap. Let’s just face it ANYTHING they make is going to be crap and perhaps everyone should stop expecting so much and just accept these movies for what they are. Or else just don’t watch them?

Rant over. But I might be back.