The Boy – horror film review
Follow his rules…
I recently bought The Boy on Blu ray as a bit of a treat and you know, mainly because I don’t have many Blu rays. And obviously it was pay day. I wasn’t expecting ‘deep scares’ or really even ANY scares but I thought the premise was pretty good.
An American nanny (Maggie from The Walking Dead) takes up a position in the scary British countryside – isolated, ivy covered manor with creepy statues alert! – and gets more than she bargained for after finding out the child in her care is actually a doll named Brahms.
And Brahms has rules. And a silly, pretentious name. And Brahms is a fucking doll.
Actually I didn’t find him scary. THERE I SAID IT. The way he’s constantly staring through doorways is amusing and I must admit I found him a little bit cute. Part of the story involves his agitated and highly disturbed parents (what else can I call them?) going away, leaving Maggie in charge. They leave her a list of rules she must follow – which is clearly emphasised more than is naturally normal…
Well I couldn’t help but notice that one of the rules was for a goodnight kiss (awwwwwweee Brahms!) and the silly fluffy girl secretly living inside me just loved this and bless Brahms’ cold porcelain heart.
Though I don’t think I’d be too comfortable accepting a job after my new employees ‘welcomed me’ by crying, whispering in my ear how sorry they were and generally acting like right weirdos. And of course there’s the whole looking after a doll instead of an ACTUAL KID. This is not year 11 at school and you are not trying to put her off not using a condom.
Truthfully, the film isn’t really scary. But it was enjoyable enough (to watch once) and there were a couple of semi-creepy, jumpy scenes. I liked the mysterious tone set from the beginning and the twist ending which was REALLY EASY to work out though still fairly fitting.
Of course the usual horror clichés were present and most of it felt reminiscent of a million other scary films. Creepy attic scene – check. Old photographs found during creepy attic scene – check. A ‘you’re only ever gonna see a storm this bad once in your lifetime’ type of storm whilst finding old photographs in attic scene – check.
But we all like stuff like that right? Oh and potential romance with the handsome but boring Mr Darcy guy who happens to be the only person living nearby – a check for that one too.
Now this is a bit spoiler-ish so skip if you’d rather not know, but the story – and indeed the truth of the mystery – never felt supernatural. And though there’s clearly terror afoot and something peculiar brewing in the ivy it never really feels like Brahms is connected to a supernatural presence. And that’s why the ending wasn’t hard to guess – as really, there’s not many directions it could go in.
All in all The Boy isn’t ground-breaking or even particularly memorable but nor is it absolute stinking bin water (which I just got on my hands). It was relatively entertaining, unintentionally funny (always a big bonus) and didn’t overstay its welcome with a nice, standard duration of 97 minute.
Watch it – but definitely just wait for Netflix.
Hahaha, you found him a bit cute! That’s funny, this sounds like the sort of ‘horror’ movie that I end up laughing at because of all the silliness. Though then again you say it goes into more ‘real’ territory… I might give this a try when its streaming.
PS – I’m transcribing the next chapter of my book. I hope to post it within the week. I need someone to remind to keep working on it, I keep getting distracted! I’ve set a goal to finish it by the end of the year…. gonna be tough I think!
I can’t wait to read it! You know how bad I am at reminding you as well, I’m away with the fairies most the time haha. I’ll keep checking for when it’s posted 🙂
This was DEFINITELY a film you end up laughing at, more than hiding behind a pillow but I don’t mind a bit of giggling! It wasn’t anything special though Jordy, nothing to rush and watch. I did find him cute! I ended up feeling sorry for him!!!!
Did I read correctly in one of your comments that you went to see The Dreamboys?
Haha….yes!! Lol. A couple of weeks ago. Scotty T from Geordie Shore was the ‘star’ but the Black Stallion was my personal favourite.
Was it a good show then?
It was alright for what it is, hard to pack out two hours with men dancing and back flipping but they pulled it off pretty well (no puns intended). And you did see…..EVERYTHING.
And it was reminiscent of Magic Mike at times! Though not as good sadly 🙂
Haha, gotta love those puns.
Indeed, you saw everything? Naughty, naughty.
I’m sure it was one hell of a view.
Definitely didn’t need binoculars!
Carrying on from my last comment, I may give it a watch if nothing else is on.
Cool review Emma, though this film sounds somewhat lacking in scares.
Thanks so much Vinnie! It was a shame it wasn’t scarier definitely 🙂 worth a watch if it costs nothing.
I’ll look out for it. Did you see my two latest posts of questionnaires? Your opinion would be very much appreciated.
I’ve never really liked dolls even as a kid, so I’m sure this would freak me out.
Definitely not one for a doll phobia! He’s a huge china doll, I remember finding china dolls quite creepy when I was younger too 🙂
It’s probably that dead, lifeless stare. It wouldn’t be so bad if they’d occasionally blink and look away to the side.
I’m always hoping my stuffed toys (I still have them..!) will blink and look to the side 🙂
Fabulous review as always Bestie! I kind of turned up my nose at the trailer, but maybe I should try this.
Thank you dear Kims! It was nothing overly special but certainly likable enough, okay for a Netflix afternoon 🙂
Thanks for being honest about the film. I think that you were bold to invest in the Blu-Ray. Then again, I can understand that you need to treat yourself at the moment.
I have been worrying about you all week. (Honest…) Any joy with the job-hunting? I wish that I could win the lottery tomorrow, and I would sort out all your problems. (Honest…)
Let me know how you are, sweet Emma.
As always, Pete. XXX + extras, xxx And a big one. X
Hee hee, I like living life on the edge! (Blu ray purchase!)
Thanks Pete that means a lot, sorry can I have your email address again please? I’ll drop you a line and explain more 🙂
How are you and how is Ollie?
P.S you may enjoy this film as a bit of fluff!
Ollie has been sick four times today! I spent the morning clearing up after him. I think he has been eating too fast, as well as being affected by the heat.
Email is firstname.lastname@example.org
I would always love to hear from you, but you know that of course! XXX+XX
Thanks Pete 🙂 will email in due course. Oh no poor Ollie!! And poor you ha ha. XXX-X
I don’t want to be some sort of Internet pest. But I do honestly worry about you. XXX
Oh that’s very sweet, but I’m doing okay 🙂 xxx
Good to know honey. XXX
Brahms IS a silly name. Thank you so much for saying what I was thinking Emma! Haha!
Haha! Thanks so much Tom 🙂 your comment made me smile!
Sheesh that looks bad. Speaking of ivy and the isolated countryside, have you seen the Radcliffe-starred The Woman in Black? I absolutely love that one, because it feels like classic horror, with tons of atmosphere and spot-on & masterfully used jump scares.
I went to see the play in London last September and it is glorious! You have to go see it if you haven’t.
Yes I’ve seen that and I liked it too! I’m glad you said that as I’ve heard some quite mean comments about it but I thought it was very enjoyable too. I thought Radcliffe was good and it was A LOT creepier than The Boy.
I’ve seen the play too! I went for my birthday last December funnily enough. How you been? I was in Southend a few weeks ago (watching The Dreamboys HA HA!)
I saw the play last September. The next day I saw The Play that Goes Wrong. Hilarious, definitely recommend.
I’m good, with some plans in the works but good
Glad you’re well 🙂
How have you been?
Alright thanks 🙂 I said to my partner Scott about meeting up some time and he thought it was a good idea. He loves gaming too lol.
Gamers and geeks, we’re everywhere 😛
We certainly are! We went to the EGX event last year. Wanted to go this year too but on holiday at the same time, doh.
I was at EGX last year hahaha, and I’m probably going this year as well.
We may have walked past each other!
Well, even if you can’t make it to this year’s EGX, there’s still the next MCM London Comic Con, it’s in October
Could be tempted! I’d love to do a horror film one really 🙂 it’s my bf who is the game nut but did really enjoy EGX!
We’ll make you a gamer, just need to find the right games 😛
This will summarise me pretty well – my all time favourite game is Croc Legend of the Gobbos ha ha!
This is genuinely the first time I’ve heard of that game.
Have got ever played point & click adventure games? I will recommend Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers. Has humour, mystery and suspense.
Sadly for you love of horror most video games rely on jump scares instead of a chilling atmosphere. Though there are a few hidden germs here and there
There are a few Meetup groups around London and Essex just for horror films. Have you checked those out
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