The Boy – horror film review
Follow his rules…
I recently bought The Boy on Blu ray as a bit of a treat and you know, mainly because I don’t have many Blu rays. And obviously it was pay day. I wasn’t expecting ‘deep scares’ or really even ANY scares as such but I thought the premise was pretty good.
An American nanny (Maggie from The Walking Dead – AKA Lauren Cohan) takes up a position in the scary British countryside – isolated, ivy covered manor with creepy statues alert – and gets more than she bargained for, finding out the child in her care is actually a doll named Brahms. And Brahms has rules. And a silly, pretentious name.
Actually I didn’t find Brahms scary. THERE I SAID IT. The way he’s constantly staring through doorways is quite amusing and I must admit I found him a little bit cute. Part of the story involves his agitated and highly disturbed parents (what else can I call them?) going away, leaving Maggie in charge. They leave her a list of rules she must follow – which is clearly emphasised more than is naturally normal.
Well I couldn’t help but notice that one of the rules was for a goodnight kiss and the silly fluffy girl secretly living inside me just loved this and bless Brahms’ cold porcelain heart.
Though by the by I don’t think I’d be comfortable accepting a job after my new employees ‘welcomed me’ by crying, whispering in my ear how sorry they were and generally acting like right fucking weirdos. And of course there’s the whole looking after a doll instead of an actual kid pickle but that’s just me
Truthfully, the film isn’t very scary. Like AT ALL. But it was enjoyable enough and there were a couple of semi-creepy, jumpy scenes. I liked the mysterious tone set from the beginning and the twist ending which was REALLY EASY to work though still fairly fitting.
Of course the usual horror clichés were present and most of it felt reminiscent of a million other scary films. Creepy attic scene – check. Old photographs found during creepy attic scene – check. A ‘you’re only ever gonna see a storm this bad once in your lifetime’ type of storm whilst finding old photographs in attic scene – check. But we all like stuff like that right? Oh and potential romance with the handsome-but-dull Mr Darcy guy who happens to be the only person living nearby – a check for that one too.
Now this is a bit spoiler-ish so skip if you’d rather not know, but the story (and indeed the truth of the mystery) never really felt supernatural. Maybe that’s why it never felt that scary and though there’s clearly terror afoot and something peculiar brewing in the ivy it never – at least to me – felt like Brahms was connected to a supernatural presence. And that’s why the ending wasn’t hard to guess – not many directions it could go in to be honest.
All in all The Boy isn’t ground-breaking but nor is it absolute stinking garbage water (eek I just got some on my hands). It was relatively entertaining, unintentionally funny and didn’t overstay its welcome with a very standard duration of 97 minute.
Watch it – but best to wait for Netflix.