Films I Watched In: May

It’s pretty amazing how after multiple re-watches over a twenty year period that this scene (and specifically this ‘speech’) can still have me crying with laughter:

I’m Buck Melanoma! Moley Russell’s wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I’m… I’m the wart. She’s my tumor. My… my growth. My… uh, my pimple. I’m Uncle Wart. Just old Buck “Wart” Russell. That’s what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They’ll call me that. “Melanoma Head’s coming.” I’m ….. uncle! Maisy Russell’s uncle!”

Even reading it now brings a dumb grin to my face.

John Candy was seriously funny and had a kind face. I like people who are kind and cheerful and don’t take life too seriously. They make me feel happy and remind me to relax and not worry so much. It’s like when I watch Planes, Trains & Automobiles and there’s that scene where they’re driving the burnt out car down the freeway and get stopped by the cops:

“Sir, do you believe this vehicle is safe for highway travel?”

The way Griffith replies “yes I do” can make me laugh for an HOUR I kid you not. What a guy he was – and still sorely missed.


So yeah, I watched Uncle Buck (1989) this month, but what else did I see? Well seven films in total, all but two being re-watches so not the best but not the worst either. Pretty good selection (for a philistine like me…)

St. Trinians (2007) was on TV so me and my reluctant boyf6a00d83451f25369e20153918552d0970briend (until he saw the array of saucy school uniforms) ended up watching it during a lazy weekend. I’ve seen it before anyway and always enjoy it. I never watched the original St. Trinian series but it’s such a likable film. It’s very British and the jokes are too. There’s a cool cast, almost infinite drug references (wahey!) and possibly the best Rupert Everett performance of all time. And I’m being totally serious. Especially his scenes with Colin Firth.

Oh and I loved Stephen Fry hosting the University-Challenge-style-quiz-show whilst on pills. And I don’t mean paracetamol. Or aspirin. Or anything legal. Legend!

Face Off (1997) I’ve seen a million times and unashamedly love. I don’t call it a ‘guilty pleasure’ or any of that shit, I say it how I see it – it’s a GREAT film. But anyway, I reviewed it here ages ago, so no point droning on and who hasn’t seen it anyway? If you’ve never seen Face Off you need to now – educate yourself you fool.

The Business (2005) is next on my list, a film made by cockney geezer Nick Love, who I find fairly hit and miss. Some of his movies are great (The Football Factory) and some of them are just awful (The Sweeney). The Business is probably his most accessible film and I imagine it appeals to a wider audience than some of his ‘punch first, ask questions later’ offerings.

It’s a rags to riches gangster story set during the 1980s, in the Costa Del Crime (Spain basically, where loads of English criminals would flee for salvation). The lead character Frankie (Danny Dyer) is a likable young man who finds himself climbing the exciting ladder of crime, sex, women and drugs.

The first half of the film is absolutely fantastic. It’s fun and energetic with great characters, quotes, scenes and a banging soundtrack (that I reviewed here), but it does start to lose its thread a little towards the end. However it’s still worthy of your time and there’s always the lovely Danny to admire. I won’t hear a word against Danny Dyer – he’s a lovely bloke and a good actor and that’s a fact. End of.


Minions (2015) I had mixed feelings for before watching. I mean I loved Despicable Me but how long can they drag it out for? The sequel was pretty good and the minions are amazing but…. you know.

I’m also not generally the biggest fan of kids movies – who the fuck wants to sit around watching kids movies? Apart from kids? I’d rather watch someone being cut up with a chainsaw or having a giant worm explode out their eye or…..something like that.

Anyway, Despicable Me was so good and a breath of fresh air in the sea of talking animals that most kids films seem to be. Happily, Minions was actually a really decent prequel. It wasn’t too long, the situations were funny and as Jordan correctly summarised in his excellent review, the jokes were smart and funny. And I know when ITV start playing it every weekend (as they do) I’ll be watching it!

Attack the Block (2011) is a typical “film that Emma loves”. It’s British, it’s low budget, it has a GREAT soundtrack (which I reviewed here), hardly any CGI – for instance the aliens are literally actors in suits like some old episode of Doctor Who. Oh and it has a spiffing script which keeps me laughing from beginning to end.

The story is simple – a gang of chavvy teenagers have to defend their housing estate ‘block’ against the arrival of some nasty aliens. It’s a fantastic blend of sci-fi and comedy, told in a unique way. To be honest I’m not sure how it translates in other countries, it helps to know what places like this are actually like and understand the slang the kids use, but for me – this is as perfect as a film can get – genuinely.


So, that makes The Facility (2012) my last movie of May. I caught this by chance on the Horror Channel and it was late, I was super tired and had to be up early the next day so I certainly wasn’t planning on watching a film – even one with an 80 minute duration (well, 95 with adverts).

But it’s a mark of how much I enjoyed it that I did actually stay up and see it through to the end. Within ten minutes I was at that ‘hooked and have to know what’s going to happen’ stage – despite the budget being lower than Noel’s House Party. But it’s a premise that always appeals – strangers in a room. You know, like Cube or Circle or Exam. A film where people are brought together and have to solve something or fight against someone and suss each other out and so on. I like films like that, always have.

The strangers in this particular story are in an isolated (ISOLATED!!!) hospital to complete one of those paid medical trials. There’s the usual characters that we know so well by now – the rebellious loner, the fast talking flirty guy, the woman who knows right from the start it’s all probably a bad idea, the ‘trustworthy modest one’, the Grumpy Old Git etc. etc. etc.

Well OBVIOUSLY the trial goes wrong, has weird effects and the Usual Characters start getting angry and coughing and there’s blood over the walls and people being chased down corridors – it’s pretty fun to be fair.


Like I said, it is low budge – but still, the acting was pretty good and I enjoyed the dialogue which felt natural and real. It was probably the conversation between characters that sucked me in in the first place. I couldn’t quite follow it all, mainly because in parts I just didn’t know what the fucking hell was happening – but I still enjoyed the overall ride.

And that’s it for May. Stay tuned for more next month folks – though don’t expect too much because Love Island’s on and I’m hooked….

About emmakwall

Films, books, soundtracks, good humour
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95 Responses to Films I Watched In: May

  1. I miss John Candy, just watching his expressions are funny haha! I’m super curious about Attack The Block and seeing John Boyega before Force Awakens. Good stuff Emma!

    • emmakwall says:

      His expressions are so funny! There’s not many people like him around, who are so genuine and funny.

      Ah man I meant to mention that John Boyega “The Stormtrooper” was the star of Attack the Block, good call! It’s a great film if you like that kind of thing. He’s very good in it 🙂

      Thanks very much!! 🙂

      • Boyega is awesome force awakens, he’s got the comedy touch which impressed me. Plus it’ll be interesting hearing him with his natural accent in Attack the block. 🙂

        • emmakwall says:

          I’m so glad to hear that, I’ve not seen it (never even seen the original Star Wars haha!) but that’s awesome and having the comedy touch impresses me as well. It brings so much more character to…a character!

          He talks more ‘street’ (is that the right word?!!!) in Attack the Block, I only know because I saw him on the Graham Norton Show (he was very funny on that actually) and he was a bit posher lol.

          • Oh wow I’m surprised Emma! 🙂 Not even the originals eh? My co-worker and another gaming friend also haven’t seen any Star Wars and they both watch a lot of movies. You’re not alone lol!

            • emmakwall says:

              Nope! I only realised why quite recently – because my dad doesn’t like them!! I realised so many people saw them because they’re parents liked them and my dad never did. He did introduce me to other movies though, mainly horror to be honest but also Alien, The Thing, some Tarantino / Cohen brothers etc!

              And now I’ve missed the boat I’m not that interested lol.

  2. badblokebob says:

    Face/Off is an utterly fantastic film, definitely one of my all-time favourites. St. Trinian’s is surprisingly good for what it is, too. I’ve still not got round to Attack the Block though, which shames me.

    • emmakwall says:

      Thanks Bad Bloke 🙂 Face Off is just perfect isn’t it, what a movie it is!! I could watch it every week. I’m glad you like St. Trinians too, it should be so lame but it was a lot better than I thought it’d be.

      No shame in not seeing Attack the Block yet! You watch tons of movies, far more than me! You’ll get round to it 🙂

  3. drhumpp says:

    Kids movies can be all right if people are being cut up with chainsaws. Otherwise, they’re not usually worth the time. How hard is it to figure this out?

    • emmakwall says:

      Haha! The perfect happy medium 🙂 I’m assuming it’s the KIDS with the chainsaws? Cutting up their teachers or their moody old neighbour that never throws the ball back? I mean, we don’t want anything too untoward in kids movies! But that all sounds okay 🙂

      • drhumpp says:

        Either way, as long as it’s not boring 🙂

        I talk tough, but I won’t read Cujo again because I found the end too upsetting.

        • emmakwall says:

          I completely understand. I re-watched Dumbo an an adult and couldn’t understand how it EVER passed as children’s movie. It’s actually traumatic in places. When Dumbo was crying for his mother and the other elephants basically laughed in his face and pushed their big elephant arses together so he was excluded from the group broke my heart. Even the way he thought it was his ‘magic feather’ making him fly broke my heart. In fact writing this is breaking my heart!!!!

          • drhumpp says:

            You’re a sweetheart. 🙂

            In all seriousness, I don’t think adults make good judges of quality kids movies. We tend to overthink and find fault in things that just don’t matter to kids. My kids have watched some horrible shit and they do not care one bit. If it makes them feel good, they like it. It’s kind of refreshing that way.

            • emmakwall says:

              That’s so true! And thank you 🙂 I read my comment back and realised how hysterical I sounded ! But yes I completely agree. When I was younger I lived with my grandparents and they bought me a video drama called ‘Grandpa’ about a little girl spending time with her grandad – cute right? Anyway to cut a long story short, at the end he died and the little girl was looking for him in his chair and the potting shed and their usual places and then it just…ended like that! Him dead and her looking for him. Needless to say I was traumatized – yet my grandparents thought a film like Big or The Mask was too ‘risque’! I like your attitude 🙂 I think it’s important to be realistic, especially today when kids can watch a lot of troublesome things online. Better to be honest and realistic than try to shield them for things that in all likelihood, will end up seeing anyway.

  4. Jay says:

    Aw, I love your little John Candy send up.

    I also watched Attack the Block last month – but it was for the first time!

  5. Jordan Dodd says:

    Face Off is awesome. FACT!

    John Candy was great indeed, he is missed by many I’m sure

    oh, and thanks for the link love! I think Minions got unfairly judged as a money-making movie… which it was obviously, but it was bloody funny! Yeah I was stoned but I laughed my arse off watch that! The group of school kids at the back were a bit scared of me haha!! They were so quiet!!

    • emmakwall says:

      I’m glad you scared the schoolkids! I want to be that scary, stoned person too hahahahaha! Oh…I am. Lol.

      Minions was good! I liked how they didn’t tie it up with story lines and it was more a bunch of funny scenes. I’m sure it was to make money but still they made a good effort with plenty of kids jokes! And you’re very welcome to the link love! 🙂

      We need a John Candy blogathon!!!!

      • Jordan Dodd says:

        “I want to be that scary, stoned person too hahahahaha!”

        It is sooooo fun. 😉

        Yeah Minions was to make money, but people seemed always have that in the back of their minds. Its dumb, because the movie is excellent. 50% on RT or something dumb like that. The only bad thing about Minions was Bullock. AWFUL voice-acting. Literally sounds like she phoned it in.

        A John Candy blogathon sounds like a great idea!! You wanna co-host one??? That’d be awesome!

  6. That Other Critic says:

    I’m an American and I loved Attack the Block, so I can say that, at least for me, the humour translated across the Atlantic.
    I’ve never actually finished Face/Off. It used to be on Netflix, so it went onto my neverending list, but ever since it was removed, I’ve been too apathetic to seek it out. It is pure insanity, however.

    • emmakwall says:

      Thank you Jake! 🙂 I hope that didn’t sound patronising about it translating across the pond, just some of their slang and the way they are, I wasn’t sure if it would be ‘got’ that easily. I’m very glad to hear you loved it!!! 🙂

      Ah man, I feel another joint post coming along….!!! Face Off: Why Jake Can’t Finish Watching It (and why Emma wants him to)


      • That Other Critic says:

        Nah, don’t worry about it. It can be difficult what with the accents and such (that “chavvy” subset of the London dialect is not always easy for an American to get), but I love it anyways.
        Maybe a Face Off post could be forthcoming…

        • emmakwall says:

          I hope so!! We did have so much fun with the Bale post 🙂 why not? We’re good at being silly 🙂

          Yes that’s what I wondered. Kids calling each other “blud” might have other countries scratching their heads a little?!

          • That Other Critic says:

            Listening to British slang is certainly better than listening to the silly American equivalent. Here it’s all “fam” and *shudders* “yaaasss.”
            Maybe we could write about Face/Off, but maybe I should watch the rest of it first?

            • emmakwall says:

              We say “fam” too lol! 🙂 well, you know, the youngster do.

              Watch it!! And then we can do another great, hilarious post 🙂

  7. newguy87 says:

    Something is missing from this list?

  8. Busy month Ems! I loved Uncle Buck! John Candy is another star who passed away too soon. I also LOVED Attack the Block! It’s a perfect example of how you don’t need oodles of money to make a fab movie. I’ve had Face Off on my movie watchlist for ages, but I haven’t gotten to it yet.😕

  9. beetleypete says:

    I caught The Facility too. Not bad for a telly watch. The Business is a favourite, but not as good as Sexy Beast, and Danny’s shorts really date it too! Attack The Block is good, but the monsters let it down a lot. I prefer Tower Block, with the lovely Sheridan Smith. Can’t stand Minions, and the new St Trinian’s films aren’t a patch on the originals, which were VERY British. I know you love Face Off, enough said.
    As for Uncle Buck, I think I could watch it every day, my favourite Candy film. Mind you, he was very good in JFK too, playing it straight.
    As ever, Pete. XXX

  10. vinnieh says:

    I totally get what you say about John Candy, he just had that fun factor that always out you at ease. Ah I see you watched The Business again, was that on my account due to my new man crush on Danny Dyer?

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