The Boy (2016)

Posted on August 5, 2016 by emmakwall

The Boy – horror film review

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Follow his rules…

I recently bought The Boy on Blu ray as a bit of a treat and you know, mainly because I don’t have many Blu rays. And obviously it was pay day. I wasn’t expecting ‘deep scares’ or really even ANY scares but I thought the premise was pretty good.

An American nanny (Maggie from The Walking Dead) takes up a position in the scary British countryside – isolated, ivy covered manor with creepy statues alert! – and gets more than she bargained for after finding out the child in her care is actually a doll named Brahms.

And Brahms has rules. And a silly, pretentious name. And Brahms is a fucking doll. 

Actually I didn’t find him scary. THERE I SAID IT. The way he’s constantly staring through doorways is amusing and I must admit I found him a little bit cute. Part of the story involves his agitated and highly disturbed parents (what else can I call them?) going away, leaving Maggie in charge. They leave her a list of rules she must follow – which is clearly emphasised more than is naturally normal…

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Well I couldn’t help but notice that one of the rules was for a goodnight kiss (awwwwwweee Brahms!) and the silly fluffy girl secretly living inside me just loved this and bless Brahms’ cold porcelain heart.

Though I don’t think I’d be too comfortable accepting a job after my new employees ‘welcomed me’ by crying, whispering in my ear how sorry they were and generally acting like right weirdos. And of course there’s the whole looking after a doll instead of an ACTUAL KID. This is not year 11 at school and you are not trying to put her off not using a condom.

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Truthfully, the film isn’t really scary. But it was enjoyable enough (to watch once) and there were a couple of semi-creepy, jumpy scenes. I liked the mysterious tone set from the beginning and the twist ending which was REALLY EASY to work out though still fairly fitting.

Of course the usual horror clichés were present and most of it felt reminiscent of a million other scary films. Creepy attic scene – check. Old photographs found during creepy attic scene – check. A ‘you’re only ever gonna see a storm this bad once in your lifetime’ type of storm whilst finding old photographs in attic scene – check.

But we all like stuff like that right? Oh and potential romance with the handsome but boring Mr Darcy guy who happens to be the only person living nearby – a check for that one too.

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Now this is a bit spoiler-ish so skip if you’d rather not know, but the story – and indeed the truth of the mystery – never felt supernatural. And though there’s clearly terror afoot and something peculiar brewing in the ivy it never really feels like Brahms is connected to a supernatural presence. And that’s why the ending wasn’t hard to guess – as really, there’s not many directions it could go in.

All in all The Boy isn’t ground-breaking or even particularly memorable but nor is it absolute stinking bin water (which I just got on my hands). It was relatively entertaining, unintentionally funny (always a  big bonus) and didn’t overstay its welcome with a nice, standard duration of 97 minute.

Watch it – but definitely just wait for Netflix.

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Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeee!

About emmakwall

Films, books, soundtracks, good humour
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64 Responses to The Boy (2016)

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  1. Jordan Dodd says:
    August 9, 2016 at 05:24

    Hahaha, you found him a bit cute! That’s funny, this sounds like the sort of ‘horror’ movie that I end up laughing at because of all the silliness. Though then again you say it goes into more ‘real’ territory… I might give this a try when its streaming.

    PS – I’m transcribing the next chapter of my book. I hope to post it within the week. I need someone to remind to keep working on it, I keep getting distracted! I’ve set a goal to finish it by the end of the year…. gonna be tough I think!

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    • emmakwall says:
      August 11, 2016 at 10:18

      I can’t wait to read it! You know how bad I am at reminding you as well, I’m away with the fairies most the time haha. I’ll keep checking for when it’s posted 🙂

      This was DEFINITELY a film you end up laughing at, more than hiding behind a pillow but I don’t mind a bit of giggling! It wasn’t anything special though Jordy, nothing to rush and watch. I did find him cute! I ended up feeling sorry for him!!!!

      MMMMMMMMMMM’KAY 🙂

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  2. vinnieh says:
    August 8, 2016 at 18:18

    Did I read correctly in one of your comments that you went to see The Dreamboys?

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  3. vinnieh says:
    August 7, 2016 at 13:15

    Carrying on from my last comment, I may give it a watch if nothing else is on.

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  4. vinnieh says:
    August 7, 2016 at 13:14

    Cool review Emma, though this film sounds somewhat lacking in scares.

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  5. renxkyoko says:
    August 7, 2016 at 09:56

    I’ve never really liked dolls even as a kid, so I’m sure this would freak me out.

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  6. By Hook Or By Book ~ Book Reviews, News, & Other Stuff says:
    August 5, 2016 at 21:22

    Fabulous review as always Bestie! I kind of turned up my nose at the trailer, but maybe I should try this.
    #hugsforyoy

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  7. beetleypete says:
    August 5, 2016 at 21:05

    Thanks for being honest about the film. I think that you were bold to invest in the Blu-Ray. Then again, I can understand that you need to treat yourself at the moment.
    I have been worrying about you all week. (Honest…) Any joy with the job-hunting? I wish that I could win the lottery tomorrow, and I would sort out all your problems. (Honest…)
    Let me know how you are, sweet Emma.
    As always, Pete. XXX + extras, xxx And a big one. X

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  8. Tom says:
    August 5, 2016 at 20:37

    Brahms IS a silly name. Thank you so much for saying what I was thinking Emma! Haha!

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  9. Kevin says:
    August 5, 2016 at 20:15

    Sheesh that looks bad. Speaking of ivy and the isolated countryside, have you seen the Radcliffe-starred The Woman in Black? I absolutely love that one, because it feels like classic horror, with tons of atmosphere and spot-on & masterfully used jump scares.

    I went to see the play in London last September and it is glorious! You have to go see it if you haven’t.

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